


His song

by kittyotakuwriter



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: trigger warnings?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-17
Updated: 2015-04-17
Packaged: 2018-03-23 09:02:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3762379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittyotakuwriter/pseuds/kittyotakuwriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gahh I wrote this off of a thought and didn't think about the details so i'll probably end up editing it to sound better some time soon~~ </p><p>until then it just sounds really over-exaggerated, sorry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	His song

**Author's Note:**

> sorry, I should probably fix the spacing but I probably wont so... yeah, sorry.

I guess...

 I cant really say what happened I just know that something did.

When I got the call I didn't know what to expect I guess, I was in a rage over something silly like.. blood stains or some shit... I ... I don't really remember.

 

Eren Jaeger.

 

Eren Jaeger is dead.

 

  He committed suicide sometime during the winter. we weren't really dating but I suppose you could say I considered us as such. Eren... he was a good kid. He got good grades was always top of the class. Eren could play any instrument you could think of... piano, violin, flute, guitar, trumpet, clarinet etc. Im sure there are others but he never really had the time to show me all them. Eren had eyes that could brighten your day, they could light up the darkest of shadows and stare with intensity that sank to the bottom of your soul. He was perfect, hell... he still is. I just wish he was still with me so I could tell him just how perfect he was.

  We met during his junior year of high school, he caused a fight during lunch and accidently hit me, I was pissed at the time but... I kinda got over it? I don't know all I know is we just became really close after that.

 Eren trusted me with a lot of things, he always told me how, despite his fathers outstanding medical degree he always managed to drink him self half to death.... and it did. A little bit after graduation Eren's father died from alcohol overdose. His mom had already been dead? Something about a collapsing building when he was twelve or something like that, its been so long I can barely remember. The only thing I really can remember is the funeral and the dark expressions of those who attended... wait.. no that's a lie.

 Eren used to go on and on about how he could imagine that when he played he felt as though he was able to feel so... enlightened. presumably he would leave the earth and for once be able to express himself as himself and not 'Eren Jaeger the drunk doctors son'.

 Eren was very close to me both physically and mentally. Eren lived off of his fathers will, the money not spent on booze was saved up and after his fathers death, was passed onto him. Eren spent it on a small apartment, which housed the both of us. I lived with him because the life I lived at home was just... terrible. I wasn't sure who my mother was and my father... I don't like to talk about my father. Eren took me in when things started to get worse, he said something about people 'not having to be treated as a bad day'. 

Eren _hated_ bad days.

 

Which is why I suppose he killed himself on one.

 

  Eren... he meant a lot to me, and even as an atheist I still consider him as my guardian angel. 

 

The day of his funeral... I just saw him lying there and I felt everything at once.

 

I was angry he killed himself

 

I was sad he killed himself

 

I was... happy he killed himself.

 

I know... that sounds insane. It still does to me to but I think... im the only one that can really understand it. See, Eren always spoke of far away lands that existed in fairy tales, he always told me how he hated the reality of life, that you couldn't be someone without _being_ someone and he was someone and I was someone but we weren't going to be _someones_ until we were someone. Eren tended to speak In tongues, I suppose its just a smart person thing. but, seeing him laying in that casket I knew that this was probably his best shot at being someone.

 

The reception was quite, deathly quite. It was as if, if someone were to speak they would kill Eren even more. As little as the attendance was I knew no one wanted that.

 

Burying Eren was the hardest thing I had ever had to do. It was like I was burying myself with him and I just.... wasn't ready to die yet.

 

I always got mad at myself after the funeral, I was furious that I didn't see the scars that littered his body. The bruises that kissed his skin ever so lightly. How his skin was a golden tan but was so fragile that the lightest touch seemed to inflict some sort of damage. His thick hair that always seemed to separate and mimic a sea urchin -yet It looked so _damn_ good- would thin and fall out easily.  Why couldn't I see the signs!? He was one damn good actor...

 

I later found a mix tape, hiding under the blankets of his bed. As if we were playing a game.

 

 Curiosity got the better of me and as I examined it the title made me nearly fall in tears but, I laughed ever so gently at. his sloppy, 2nd grader handwriting that I always made fun of him for and he would just smile, saying that it was like his own font. the title of the tape was ' _wanna cuddle?'_. A question Eren always asked when he wanted to make me cheer up or hw was just feeling lonely. After all, it must be lonely being dead all by yourself.

 

 When I put the tape in I instantly heard his voice, it sounded so.... nostalgic... I loved hearing his voice and hadn't realized at the time how much I had missed him.

 

_"Hi! My name is Eren Jaeger!_

_If anyone is hearing this it probably means im dead. I finally built up the courage. I never realized how much It took to kill yourself"_

 

There was a break so you could hear his cheesy laugh. _G_ _od_ I loved his laugh.

 

_"Anyways, Im not going to say all the typical 'don't be sad that im dead I wanted it this way' bullshit._

 

_cause no one really wants it this way its just... inevitable. I know its probably supposed to happen later but I was never a really patient person."_

 

Another laugh.

 

_"Anyways! Enough with all that depressing bullshit, nobody wants to hear that. As of today my favorite color is still, and always will be, grey. The color that reminds of someone whom,_

 

_quite frankly, either doesn't give a shit or gives too many shits. Also, grey is just a color that can describe anything really._

 

_How are you feeling today? Grey_

 

_Whats your favorite band? Grey_

_Do you want to kill yourself? Grey_

_Whats your favorite movie? Fifty shades of Grey"_

 

All of a sudden all I heard was loud laughter, and I couldn't help but laugh myself too.

 

_"I know the only person that will hear this will be Levi, because I doubt he'll let anyone in the house for awhile after... everything._

 

_Levi I wrote you a song."_

 

It was quite for a moment as if it was switching tracks.

 

all of a sudden I hear piano music... it came in softly. It sounded like a lullaby... it was melodic and... beautiful. It lasted for a couple a minutes before I heard the screeching of the piano chair and quick movements. Then came a soft violin hum, it was slow but quick to grow fast and made my hard pound with every sound it made. and then it grew quite... Deadly quite.

 

" _these will be my last words..._

_Levi.. you know.. im dedicated to my music.... Levi. you know how it affects me. Levi I grew.. feelings... so.. many... feelings... please don't forget me so easily_

 

_but.... please don't ... don't linger on the thought of me forever.... live a long life.... Levi... Levi I love you."_

 

A moment of silence, broken by a whimper.

Then I heard the sounds of the piano's keys. playing ever so softly. playing the song he had written for me, the sounds started to grow hastily and pants filled the air before a loud thump was hear of the banging of the keys and a light thud was played.

I suppose at some point the tape had stopped and started repeating itself but I didn't realize... I just..

 

now it all made sense.

 

Eren had slit his wrist with the violin's bow. The piano was in a separate building. where it was? I don't know. All I really know was it was Eren's but it would never fit in the apartment.

 

By the time you'll read this, I'll probably be long gone. I cant... Cant live without him. It's been 6 years and I still cant stop thinking about him.. I just need him. so im going to kill myself too. I wont be leaving a tape or a video... instead, I leave a note. because im old school and very original. I have to be with him. Forever and always.

 

                                                                                                                                                                           - Levi Ackerman   

 

 

 

 

**Levi was found dead two weeks after, laying in Eren's bed, the tape seemed to be playing on repeat in a radio nearby.**

 


End file.
